Museum Musings: Ugly Baby Jesus

If you go to the Louvre, or any large traditional Western museum for that matter, you will notice that a large percentage of the art there is religious.  That's because it took about 1500 years after Christ's birth for artists to decide it was okay to paint other things besides Biblical Scenes. That doesn't make the art not interesting, or well executed, it just gets quite repetitive to look at. Upon one visit to the Louvre with my parents, I was quite tired and not really in an art appreciation mood. I noticed that several of the baby Jesus representations were quite funny looking. I proceed to spend the rest of my visit hunting out ugly or weird deceptions of the Baby Jesus with the Virgin Mary.  It seems that pre-Renaissance artists didn't know how to paint a baby. Perhaps they were all single men who had never seen one up close, or their wives were the only ones who spent quality time with the baby. Either way, enjoy my collection of ugly Jesuses. If you like my pictures, you'll love the tumblr Ugly Renaissance Babies.

That's an unfortunate hairline for a baby.

I would argue that Jesus of Nazareth was not blond with ringlets, though, yes, baby's hair color can change.

That's a huge baby Jesus.

Why is the baby Jesus reading? And why does he have a stigmata 30 years ahead of schedule? And why is he looking at us askance?

Those are some long arms.

Another long-armed Jesus.

Why is he looking directly at us while breastfeeding? Why does he have the body of a 5 year old?

I would argue that he was not a redhead either. Also those are some creepy eyes.

Why is he holding an apple?

Was Jesus just an adult little person? In a little wig?